Failures and Figuring Stuff Out

Well, with this failure discussion....

I've failed quite a bit with this relaxation thing in the past week and let me tell you this week would have been a great time to have had the skill to chill(hey hey rhymes). It's also a thing that's been missing for...a really long time.

Now for the cause of the recent failure.

College. Ah yes. Like many seniors the lie that this is supposed to be your best year has hit hard. Especially now that this is the week that I'll find out did I make the cut? Am I worthy of being one of the 4-5 stage managers in this program? I have no idea what's happening to me in the next...5 months. Less than.
On top of that basically everything that could have gone wrong...did. A secret that I was keeping from people did end up getting out and though nothing bad happened because of it it opened a new door to let potential stress in. Also my hobby was removed from existence basically, at least until I maybe get into college.
I believe last weeks post involved something along the lines of don't invest yourself to heavily into things because it usually ends badly?
Well...It ended badly. I didn't even realize I'd absorbed myself so much until it was suddenly taken away and life had a big empty hole of what do I do now..?
Anxiety x...through the roof.

I tried. Sort of. But something that I've read in a couple of books and that I hear people say...
Misery is catching. Very catching and ALMOST soothing. Not like ah yes a blanket and cocoa/coffee mix happy but like hello there. Here is something familiar. Humans gravitate towards the familiar and misery is so easy to spiral into.

Also before I said "what's happening to me" as if life is something that just happens to you and you have no control over it. Yes there are some things that are out of your control however that kind of attitude is the kind that leads to negative thoughts and upsetting things.


BUT TODAY THINGS ARE GOING TO(hopefully) START CHANGING. A little at a time.

This needs to be taken one step at a time. If I'm going to de-stress my existence, it needs to be a step by step process.


So. Here it goes...

STEP 1:




Hold on a moment I actually have no idea where to start...


TO THE INTERNET.

*2 minutes later*

Right okay. So. Here's how it's going to work. There's this fun book called The Secret that I really enjoyed and it talked about The Law of Attraction which is pretty neat. It basically says what you think about you bring about. Now on that note that's a little nerve wracking because I've been thinking about some pretty spazzy stuff lately but hopefully we can change that.

So back to the law of attraction.

What you think about you bring about. But saying things like I don't want this or I hope this doesn't happen... That doesn't work. The example used is if you put in "I don't want Fall Out Boy" into the Google search you're going to get Fall Out Boy everywhere. The search is going to ignore the don't and just do keywords, like  a search engine. That being said that means you need to focus on what you do want and what you do hope for.

There is a catch however. I'm not sure if this came from The Secret or just things in general but anyways. Sometimes you can want something so much that you end up pushing it away. You focus on it's absence and that's not what you want either. You have to focus on what you want but without obsessing over it. A lot of this stuff revolves around being in the now being content and letting go. You have to let whatever's going to happen just happen. When you invest yourself to much into a specific outcome you're going to A) push it away and B) if it doesn't happen suddenly life is chaos because it's not working out the way you intended it to.

So. That's step one. This week I'm just going to focus on changing my thoughts to positive things. When you focus on the positive it also helps you stay more in the now. So. I'll let you know how this goes next week.


Fun Fact: I've discovered I'm lactose intolerant. Not terribly bad. I mean I can eat things..I don't know it's weird and gets progressively worse so. Anyways. After enough bad nights feeling just terrible after an intake of too much dairy(o what sadness I cannot consume Pumpkin Cheesecake Ice Cream two nights in a row?!)...well. I made the connection. I can switch out moo juice with something else. So I may make some posts about foods that I make with lactose free things as I can find and need them.
So good-bye craptasic days and nights after a regretful consumption of delicious food...You shall be replaced with good nights of excellent-ness . It's a good thing I don't eat ice cream hardly ever because this could have been a terrible tragedy.

Thankfully. It's only if I eat more than a little bit. So ice cream can happen one night with only minor draw backs just not two nights...
*Thanks whatever higher power is out there for the fact that I love fruits and veggies more than colby jack cheese...*

Also another fun fact, the stats thing says I have had views from Germany, Finland and Poland! That's so cool! HI!!